If I ever go to prison I hope I have a great story to tell – one that will impress my fellow cons but will not upset them. I figure the ideal crime would be something like stealing a pile of money from the Canadian Revenue Agency (Canada’s version of the I.R.S.). In a cast like that the judge would be forced to imprison me but everyone – cons and those on the outside – would think well of me. For the rest of my life I would be the man who stole money from the man. Cool. If I can’t perp a really cool crime, I hope I at least avoid a really embarrassing one. Like these guys: CLICK HERE FOR FULL STORY.
Long story made short, some criminal masterminds dig a tunnel that is 100 ft. long and 4 ft. high (complete with supports and lighting) finally hacking through 15 inches of reinforced concrete all to make off with an Automated-Teller with just over $9,000 dollars in it.
Let’s assume that the ATM-Gang had four members. And, let’s assume that the tunnel was five months to dig (detectives estimate six months). 20 weeks x 160 hours per week = 3200 hour of labor. Let’s also assume that the total expense was about $500 (shovels, electricity, etc.). That’s $2.65 per hour of pure profit. Muuwahahaha.
These Manchester Lex Luthors would have been better off working at the Blockbuster Video store than robbing it – more money and less chance of romantic fling in Cell Block 12.
As a final affront to dignity, if they are caught and imprisoned they will be forced to answer the question, “What are you in for?” I suspect that any reasonably truthful answer will result in a lot of teasing in the yard during exercise hour. Probably a cool prison nickname like "Blockbuster Bill" or "Tommy the Tunnel."
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